Funny One Liners

ONE LINERS..

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!

Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?

Am I getting smart with you? ....How would you know?

I pretend to study - they pretend to teach me.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy

Just reminding u there is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

Please, god, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me.


The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.